But there are a couple things that I will never, ever learn to love - my bêtes noires, or pet peeves, in France.
#1: Smoking
In the city, you can't get away from it; people smoke all the time. In the morning, waiting for the bus, after lunch, on the walk home, and naturally, en soirée. And let's not forget about all the pauses cigarette throughout the day. That's not to say that all French people smoke, but it's much more accepted in France than it is in the U.S. - there's no social stigma to contend with. It doesn't matter how many photos of decayed lungs they slap on the side of those boxes - les français still light up in multitudes. I work at a high school, and whenever the students have a break, they are all out front, cigarettes in hand, surrounded by a giant cloud of smoke. Technically, the legal age to buy cigarettes is 18, but as one of my students said, "they don't care about that, they just care about the money." Another one said, "No, I don't get hungry when I skip breakfast - I just smoke all morning." Lovely. Call me gourmande, but I'd rather just have a croissant.*Note: I do know many French people who are non-smokers. In no way do I mean to state that all French people smoke, but I do notice a vast difference between the number of people I see smoking in France versus the US, as well as a difference in the general attitude.
#2: You can't take your leftovers home in a restaurant.
You know when you're grabbing dinner at the Thai place around the corner, and you have some Pad See Ew (it has "ew" in it, but it's so delicious!) left over and they offer to box it up for you, and you take it home and enjoy the rest of your noodles the following day?Yeah, not in France.
First of all, good luck finding Pad See Ew in France. (If you do, tell me where!) Second of all, taking home leftovers is a big no-no here. Not only is it socially unacceptable, it's often impossible - many restaurants simply don't have boxes for leftovers. You would have to bring your own tupperware and hide it in your purse. (Talk about socially unacceptable.)
This drives me crazy mainly because of the sheer wastefulness! It's true that some leftovers are best left at the table because they will be far less appetizing after twenty hours in the refrigerator (and even though you take them home in a guilty effort to avoid wasting good food, you probably won't eat your limp leftover salad or your soggy third of a cheeseburger later after all), but pizza or any kind of noodle-y dish, are, as any good American knows, perfectly delicious later on, maybe even fridge-temperature! (Yeah, like you've never eaten yesterday's cold pizza for breakfast.)
Sometimes you'll find an exception, particularly outside of Paris, but as a general rule, don't expect a doggy bag.
#3: Public bathrooms
Urinetown is not the only place you have to pay to pee! In France, public bathrooms often charge between 20 cents and 1 euro. Not a huge sum, but if I'm shelling out my spare change for a basic bodily function instead for a cafe noisette from the vending machine at work, I want it to be a fancy bathroom with scented soaps and sinks that look like art and candles and one of those classy ladies' powder rooms with plush chairs and lighted mirrors. Is that too much to ask? But instead, you get a toilet with no seat - don't fall in! Also, the ones that are just a hole in the ground with plumbing? Can't handle it.#4: Customer service is a gift, not a given.
Customer service in France has quite a bad reputation, which, in general, is rather deserved. You know how, in America, the customer is always right? Well, in France, the customer is not always right. The general bar for customer care is so low that if you tried to limbo under it, you would probably fall on your ass (unless you have a very flexible back). Let me give you a quick, every day example of the difference in attitude.America:
"Excuse me, could you check the price on this for me? The sale on this item wasn't quite clear."
"Certainly! Let me help you."
France:
"Excuse me, could you check the price on this for me? The sale on this item wasn't quite clear."
"No, it's quite obvious. Pff."*
However, when you do encounter someone who is polite and helpful, you appreciate it all the more! And it does happen - I don't mean to say that all customer service interactions regularly suck in France. I just mean that it's more of a personal choice than an obligatory standard.
(Also, it is certainly possible to have negative customer service experience in America too, don't get my wrong. But we immediately get on Yelp! and complain about it because we expect good service, even at the supermarket. Is this good? Is it bad? Who knows, but the cultural difference in attitude is certainly notable.)
*Yes, this is a true story. Not one of my imaginary tales.
#5 Bureaucracy
French bureaucracy puts me in a tizzy. More seasoned expats just shrug it off, and I know I should just bring a magazine and a flask to any bureaucratic outing and prepare to go with the flow, but I just can't, and I end up aggravated, ranting about the inefficiency of the system every time. The good (and bad) news is that it's not only inefficient and frustrating for foreigners, it's equally so for the French.Why is it frustrating? Because everyone you talk to will tell you something different, and there are no clear guidelines. If there are guidelines, they will change and not everyone will know. Oh, I promise you. Yesterday, I spent forty minutes going to an office to drop off some documents (which is totally normal and condoned by official people!) and the snippy bitch behind the plastic window refused to accept them because it "wasn't her job," and I had to go to the post office and mail the documents to the exact same address that I had just been at! Ridiculous.
However, the silver lining inside all the pain, frustration, and paperwork that drives you to carry gin or cough syrup in your purse is that you sometimes get free money from the government at the end of it all! You can use it to pay for your newly-acquired drinking habit.
P.S. For frustrated expats, I've heard nothing but raves about Excuse My French. Also, my long list of helpful links and resources.
